Before I tell you a little story about some of my (dream) journeys in Guatemala, I will give you a brief introduction to the energies of this specific day in the traditional Mayan Cholq’ij calendar. The calendar that measures the space-in-between. The 260-day cyclical calendar that is invented by women and follows the female cycles of life. One gestation period equals one full year. Honoring the natural cycles of life so we can live in harmony with them. Traditionally used by the Mayan midwifes to predict births and still widely used to give dates to ceremonial practices and important events. In fact, the Cholq’ij calendar forms the very base of the Mayan cosmovision.
In the sacred count of the Mayan cholq’ij calendar we welcome today the energies of 12 I’x. I’x is the Nahual of the jaguar, the high magic and the divine female spirit that is found in all of nature. Including within ourselves as a part of it. This day helps us to come into communion with the beautiful manifestations of nature all around us. A day to honor and give thanks to the Temples in nature. To create them, as you go. Give thanks to the elements. Invite them into your day. Letting the spirit of I’x show you the magic of life in the simple things. The energies of this day awaken our senses to a high level. It has the capacity to connects us with the energetic ley lines of mother earth on which the ancient temples are built across all different cultures and timelines. Take this opportunity to soak it in, let these frequencies fill you and send your love and gratitude back. Our engagement with the energies of the day is what awakens the magic and the gifts of these Nahuales, which serve as guides during the day. Welcome, I’x, welcome, spirit of the Jaguar.
I feel a very special connection with this Nahual. As I sat down this morning to invite the spirit of I’x into my day, I was brought back about 4,5 years ago, to the beloved Lake Atitlán in Guatemala. I vividly remembered a dream I had during this time. Knowing – as I was dreaming – that it was an important one. A dream to register, a dream with a hidden message in it. There was a tiny black jaguar peeking across the door into my bedroom as I was sleeping in my dream. It was rather shy and as I woke up, sought flight again out of the room. Some days later, I went to Santiago Atitlán with my friend Outi to visit Dolores Ratzan Pablo, a Mayan woman who once was married with Martin Prechtel – writer of the book “Secrets of the talking jaguar” and initiated by Mayan shamans as an Ajq’ij – a Mayan spiritual guide. She herself works as a tourguide and carries the gift of a medicine woman. She masters the art of dream interpretation.
In Guatemala, the Mayan shamans and spiritual guides get called to their work in a very specific way. They will have specific dreams from the age of 7 years old and will find special objects in nature that become part of their medicine. They believe that one does not just become a healer, midwife or shaman, but one is born with this gift. When that gift is not put into practice, the energy that person carries cannot express itself or find a way out. Thus.. expressing itself through an illness. The only way to cure this illness, is to seek for guidance of a local healer who will tell them that they have to start working with their gifts. Dolores herself suffered from epilepsy for years. Until she started having dreams of electricity cables that were on fire. All of the burning was the energy of the medicine that she has but none of it was using. As a result, having epilepsy. She went to see an elder shaman who told her the following:
“This lady has a gift. But it is hard because it is not getting the attention.“
However, there are many religions (Evangelism, Catholocism, Christianity) in Guatemala that “can steal her medicine”, as Dolores said. Their healing arts are being confused with witchcraft and some are risking their lives because of it. And still – last year in 2020 a Mayan herbalist was burned alive by his villagers as he was accused of performing witchcraft. Who are we to judge her for not wanting to put her gift into action in the first place.. At some point, the people in her village’s church were asking her to perform Mayan ceremonies. At the moment, she works with people who have problems with epilepsy.
So let’s go back to the dream. We were having lunch with Outi, Luis the local Mayan bonehealer and Dolores in Santiago Atitlan, after we had a special visit at Maximón’s place (who is a very important Mayan deity for the local people – but that is another story). As we were having a conversation about dream interpretation, I told Dolores the dream I had about the little jaguar visiting me in my sleep. I remember the way she responded. She did not just interprete the dream for me, but she “read” what it meant for ME. She told me that it was time for me to develop my feminine energies. By that time, I had no idea what that meant nor how I could do that or what that would look like. And still, I believe that is different for everyone. There is no prototype for “the feminine energies”. So I took the message and let it go again. Though I never forgot the words she said.
Looking back now to how my life continued to enfold since then, this was exactly what happened. I never “tried” or forced to develop my feminine energies, as I never heard of this concept anyways. It just happened. Now I can connect with “my feminine energies” through my intuitive knowing and deeper sensing. A spiralling pathway inwards. I went through my own initiation journey into womb work after I conceived a little seed in my womb that stayed there for only about two weeks. I prayed it away and it left me with my blood. Only until recently, I realized that this was the very moment where I started to do my own womb work with the obsidian yoni egg, who became my teacher and initiator into the feminine mysteries and deeper realms of wisdom that opened itself through my womb. I experienced this period like a shamanic journey with the obsidian yoni egg as the medicine that guided me through it. I learned that the feminine is not just blissful and ecstatic. It moves in spirals and travels through dark muddy depths, from where it retrieves its pearls and True wisdom. To be integrated through the bodies wisdom. It was challenging, for sure. But it was deeply magical, more than anything else. The medicine of the Nahual I’x showed itself to me. It got activated through the obsidian yoni egg, who took me on a journey through the female realms of existence. With the black jaguar as the great guardiana of those underworlds. She kept showing herself through the dream worlds. Sometimes she was small. Other times she was caged in. But how I liked to see her mostly, and how she shows up more recently, is big and bold and wild and free. Courageously walking through the pitch dark nights, appreciating the stars above her. Wild and free to be. How she is in her true nature.
Maltiox I’x ~ Thankyou I’x for the High magic that you can take us into
When the portal of birth is opening and all of nature conspires around it, it looks like this..
This photo was taken in Bayacas, Andalusia (Spain) on the 6th of December 2020, when me and my midwife friend and sister @worldwidemidwife who took me under her wings were called in for a birth. The clouds were doing epic things up there, telling us its really happening.. with fire woods and branches we arrived to the casita. Making sure the not so isolated Andalusian home is a cozy warm nest to give birth in. A big thermos of passion flower tea in my bag that was supposed to help me have a nap in between labour visits, actually ended up bringing a great atmosphere to the birth. Halfly dreamy and relaxing.
Today, on 3 Kawok in the Mayan calendar I was looking at this photo again. Kawok is the energy of birth and of the midwifes. It also represents the storm and the rains. Now in this picture I see it coming together. It is the portal that opens to bring forth new life and the forces of nature tha t help move this through. The rains, the storms, that clear the way through. Kawok has the beautiful gift that helps one become One with nature, to feel the thunders running through your bones and bring healing.
I am so grateful for this quality. The soft yet strong guidance of nature itself to give birth to life, in whichever form it is. And yes.. nature becomes extra alive around birth.. or is it the portal that’s opening that simply makes us more present and aware of it?
How was your Kawok Day? Was it stormy? Soo many times it actually is, either literally in the weather or in the experiences of the day. Kawok is never silent.
So much in our society is based upon the more masculine principles of life – the linear movement from one place to another. Improving ourselves. Climbing the ladder. Becoming more succesfull. Doing more. Moving faster. Going up in consciousness, reaching for the symbolical heavens… Feelings of lightness preferred over heaviness. Feeling high preferred over feeling low. It’s imbedded in our language. The anti-gravitational pull is taking us outside of our bodies, up and up. Out of the hearts, into the heads and above. In the spiritual scene, we come across all these different practices that help us go up more.. that make us fly.. outside of our body so we may become… enlightened?
Well.. I will tell you, I spent a big part of my life outside of my body, as a child already. Being very at home in the dreamspace. My personal spiritual journey, was a journey of getting more into my roots, into my body. Integrating my high-flying spiritual self into my physical experience – here, on earth. Uffff.. Scary. Is it safe to be here? Diving into myself. Activating my descending – rather than ascending – energetic pathways within the body. Dropping in. What was it that made the difference for me?
Womb work. This is what womb work is – amongst others – all about. To integrate all of our experiences and aspects of ourselves fully into our body. It’s easy to go up and detach from our bodily feelings and emotions. But what if we dive all the way in? Into the core and the roots of our being? Into the core of our feminine essence? Into the roots of where we all come from – the womb. Diving into the womb is diving into the depths of your existence. Uncovering yourself from the mud and all the way up. It’s one thing to have a so-called “spiritual awakening”, but another thing is.. to fully integrate all of those insights into your body. And live your truth. Move from your core and yet – feeling completely connected to all of life. From a solid foundation and womb-earth connection.
The womb is one of those never-ending spiralling gateways. Where the feminine and the masculine principle unite. The feminine – which opens the doors into the present state of timelessness, blissful states and the natural cycles of life. The masculine – which brings us in a more linear perspective of time. Moving from the one to the other. Focused upon growing and evolving. When we combine both together, we add a sense of time and continuation to the feminine cycles, and the cycle becomes a spiral. Which can bring us into endless depths of exploration. From the womb, spiralling deep into the core of the earth. Instead of the ascending pathway that urges us to reach up for the heavens, let’s take the descending pathway which brings us in confrontation with some of our deepest rootest fears and emotions related to the first two chakra’s: those of security and creativity. Unlayering, one twist and twirl on the spiral at the time. This is the key to bringing the symbolical heaven onto earth. To fully integrate both.
The journey of being born is one of descending deeply into our bodies, onto earth, which can actually take a lifetime for some. Which isn’t that weird, because many of us have learned throughout our lifes that actually, it hasn’t always been a safe space to be in our body. So we learn to disintegrate ourselves from our bodies after physical or emotionally traumatic experiences. Which actually, starts right at birth for some. But as we dive into the womb, we start to integrate some of those experiences. We open up the suppressed, bit by bit, so we become fully alive again. In our bodies, on the earth.
I invite you.. to activate your womb eye. The center of your intuitive knowing. The womb, which is neurologically connected to our limbic system and – the cerebellum, the back of our brain. Scientific research shows that the cerebellum is the place in our brain where our deepest emotions and primal instintual reactions are processed, from where we then create a certain response. The cerebellum is also known as “the bridge to spirit”, where our deeper laying soul memories are stored and captured.. see where I’m going?
When we start to connect with and clear our womb space, we also work with our limbic brain system and cerebellum. We get to work on our most primal and deepest imprinted emotions and the way we respond to certain situations. At the same time.. our spiritual antennes are sharpened and deeper Soul level healing takes place. Which get processed both – in the cerebellum. It is the place from where we Remember our Soul essence. The cerebellum, found at the back of our brain, is in connectiom with the receptors in our womb. The one informs the other. Which is the one and which the other?
Clearing the neurological receptors from within the wombspace can not only heal intergenerationally transmitted patterns, but also functions as an opening to deeper inner and outer dimensions. The womb, known as the Seat of our female spirituality. Our Soul knowing.
It’s science meeting spirituality. Rationality meeting intuition. My background in biomedical & health sciences dancing with my spiritual knowing and insights.
I felt this connection when I started my womb healing journey, which I began with the obsidian yoni egg. This powerful clearing stone helped to shed many layers. At some point, I felt the alterations happening at the back of my brain. I intuitively knew there is a connection between both centers. As I got to process some deeper layered emotions and even ancestral (soul) memories, I also felt my intuitive- and spiritual connection growing. Dreams started to get stronger and clearer. I could sense a stronger sense of my Soul-self. The portal of the womb revealing her true Biology.. including the mystical intelligence of the womb.
Women, can you relate? And what is there yet to explore? I think it’s a about time that the intuitive wisdom takes it’s place in honorable position hand in hand with scientific research. Who says that intuitive knowing is not a science on intself? What if it’s just a different way of knowing? The female brain versus the masculine brain. We need both, and luckily, we háve both. So let’s use them equally. Let’s honor them equally. There’s yet much more space to be taken in for the female brain, which resides within àll of us and speaks to us through our deepest senses. Our emotional ability and inner knowing. Sometimes, all we need to do, is tap into the innate wisdom of our bodies and the mystical intelligence of our marvelous organs. Regardless which gender we identify with.
Pregnant of what? Not of a baby. Not of a foodbaby either. I am pregnant of ideas. I am pregnant of stories. I am pregnant of inspiration. I am so fully pregnant that I am almost exploding, almost bursting. My waters are about to break, my emotions are running wild as I open the plug and let it all out. This inspiration.
Where do I start? Where do I begin? Why have I been holding all of this in for such a long time? Well, I guess it all has its time. It takes time to grow a baby too. It takes time to grow an idea, I guess, and knowing when it is fully ready to be birthed to this earth. But wow, it is a lot. It is a lot that wants to come through. I remind myself of Kawok – the stormy energy that represents the birthing process. It is everywhere and yet nowhere, but it helps to flush through the obstacles. I am flushing through my own obstactles right now.
Does a mother ask herself, when she is about to birth a baby, where do I start? No. I don’t think so. She just starts. Or rather, she just gives into the urges of the natural contractions to help her baby find her way out. Dropping the resistance. In a way it should be natural, it should be effortless. That doesn’t say that there is no pain. But it is the instinctual impulse a woman follows during birth. No thinking, it is just happening.
Bringing this back to my own feelings, now I can relate again. Just write. Just let it out. Just start, and listen to what comes natural. Whether it is foot first or arm first, in the end, the whole baby will make its way out. Your creation will find its way out of you too, Lieke. Remember. It does not matter in which way, too much. It will be your way, it will be exactly perfect as it is for you. And so for the rest too.
But yes, I am birthing. The stories, the ideas, the inspiration. It has been marinating enough now. It has been fully nourished, nurtured and grown into ripeness and readyness to be shared with the world. Maybe I am a little overdue. But hey, that is still fine. I choose for this. And with this story, I let you know that more is about to come. I just didn’t know where to start. Now I remember. It is time to unplug the plug and let the waterflow of inspiration go. This is where we unlock our own energy. This is how we unlock ourselves. This is how we allow ourselves to create from the joy of creating. This is how we unlock the inspiration within ourselves. You just have to start, and from that, it will guide it’s own way. Into it’s own creationstory. Whether it be a baby, a project an idea. It all comes from the same source of creation. As women, holding this powerful womb. The womb, from which we create. The womb, holding all of our creative power. The womb, being a condensed experience of the cosmos.