It’s been a full cycle of creation now, a first year in the Mayan calendar. 9 months out of the womb, in the sacred triangle with papa and mama, on this planet called earth. In the Heart of the World, the Sierra Nevada, the place you have chosen as Home. Born by these crystalline waters, held by the embrace of la madre selva.

It’s been nine months, and I am just starting to walk outside of the postpartum labyrinth. There is a shift inside of me, an emerging from the more fluid-like postpartum months. From the depths of the waters I have gone to. Energy is growing again, and pieces of integration are naturally falling into place. Words are there for feelings and experiences I was unable to process or express in any way, as the postpartum waves follow each other in high rhythm. Just pure presence with what is. And now, space for reflection is opening. The psyche ready for integration. The hormones starting to find a new equilibrium again; and so do I.

As a mother, guiding my shaped-soul and spirit back into my renewed body. It took nine months before I was close to ready to start putting pieces of this biggest initiation of my life together. But the urge has come, with my medicine as writing to allow the inner wisdom to emerge more fully as the words flow out through my fingers. For my own creative flow. For the sake of writing. To accompany a returning, as I pick up the pearls from the oceanic bottoms I’ve touched upon. Allowing for the transformation into wisdom to happen.

It took 9 months, to allow for the dying of the Maiden to happen. At 8 months pregnancy, I heard a voice whisper in my ears: “You have to take off your maiden cloak.” Now, nine months later, it was time for this maiden cloak to be offered to the fire during the funeral fire of Maiden Lieke. The night before our son’s Mayan bday, the night I was in depths of labour land, I offered Maiden Lieke’s death letter to the fire. With offerings of chocolate and banana, representing the offering and letting go of the “sweetness” mask she was wearing. She is no longer. Her favorite maiden cloak became an offering to Mayan Goddess Ixchell – She, who guides the midwives and childbirth. She, the Goddess of fertility, and the fierce mama jaguar. She, who weaves all colors of the rainbow into beauty. She guided my path into the becoming of my Maiden self. She received my offerings.

So this is me, in my Mother era. The freshly born skin underneath the shedding still visible. Raw, unpolished, and shiny as ever before. The freshly shed snakeskin found two mornings after at the same firepit. The most beautiful gift of confirmation I’ve received. No more masks for the Mother. Just unapologetic Truthfulness, and alignment. No more distractions that withhold me from my Divine path. No more leaky energy, but a Knowing where I’m going, and a deep holding of Self. The mother, such a becoming, yet oh so naturally there.

The journey into Motherhood so far, has been one of deep revelations from shadowland, and high peaks of being in the most natural states, intoxicated by the medicine of Divine Love, with an altered new “normal” state of being. My brains have completely been blown out of the window in the first few months,  and are only now starting to operate in a new way again. I’ve been taking my sweet time to allow myself to Emerge again from the postpartum labyrinth. I was happy to let my old identities and rhythms completely die, and so I did.

This is me, in my becoming as Mother. Home, in our new family constellation. Thank you, my dearest son. Thank you, my husband. Welcome Home. Thank you for guiding me.